Cold hands, warm shart.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
