From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
