i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize