I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
