we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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