do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
