Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
