sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
