Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
