I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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