this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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