I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
don't judge my taste in strippers
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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