THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
