Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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