I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
