I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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