It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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