Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
