Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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