I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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