I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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