i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
