belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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