Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
