You really coming over, don't trick.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
