that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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