I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
