if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
