well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
