covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
