I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
