The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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