What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
