i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
