Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
