We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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