Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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