Where did you get a picture of my penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
