just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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