DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
