good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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