Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
