if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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