doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
