i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
