the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
