is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
