She's JV to your varsity
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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