You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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