hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
