What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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