I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize