I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
