have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
