When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize