If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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