I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
are you so shy because you have an std?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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