What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
