its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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