you turned your livingroom into a bong?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
