marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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