Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
